cescadr

Home Alone

In Uncategorized on April 23, 2010 at 9:08 pm

So, right now, at this very moment, I am home alone. Well my dogs are with me. But that doesn’t count.

Every single one of my family is out there, I don’t know where, having fun. And I’m just here, doing nothing. And I would like to say, it’s been a long time since I felt this kind of empty. Oh yes, there are a lot of empty feelings. But this one is different. I am not lonely, and NO I am not depressed, not that kind of empty. I am just really bored, and I really have nothing at all to do.

Right now, I just need at least a friend over the phone (better yet come over), but I don’t know what’s happening with any of my friends lately. And another thing is, I NEED TO VENT. I need to…like so badly. It’s like it is filling up inside me, and I just want to burst everything out. Oh, I really do wish that this night (not to mention that it is a Friday night) would be at least a little livelier.

I don’t mind being home alone, but this is just plain weird. I have nothing to do. I can’t even think about what to do. I feel a little bit lazy, but I just want to do something.

Just a while back, I was tweeting some things on twitter. Stuff like questions, analyzations, and then different feelings just started going in, and I felt like just tweeting anything that came in my mind, and I suddenly stopped thinking that if I say something that isn’t right, I wouldn’t want to regret it (well, there’s always the delete button, but..) or make a problem out of it. So I just stopped, exited twitter for a moment, and relaxed.

I am now relaxing with an ice cold Coke in my hand, and just wondering what to do next. But really, this kept me wondering: Why is that when you want to be alone, you never can be? And when you are finally alone, you just want to be with someone?

Well, I kinda get with the whole “you can’t always get what you want” thing, but really, why is it like this way?

So, I guess I better get back to thinking of what to do next, or thinking of what to do at all. (I feel like I’m a somewhat hypocrite for the fact that I am doing something, that is blogging..)

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